Things are getting serious...i wonder he knows..

He requested me to bare with him for another week..reason is simple - very busy at work.
One week is not a matter to me, i have been waiting for more than a year, what is another week to me?

I have give in so many times. I hate myself for being soft hearted. I have given enough chances. I have tolerated enough. Does he appreciate all these? Is he taking it for granted?

He is very selfish...very very selfish! He only want me to understand his situation, sympathize on him..how about me? Who care for me? Don't i need ppl to understand me? Don't i need someone to care for me?

One whole week, he hasn't been contacting me much. Not even care if i am still living well. His reason is simple...i am living with my family, anything happen to me, my family will care for me. How irresponsible are such comment. So if i were to married to him one day, do i still depends on my family all the time? Cant i trust this guy to take care of me a lifetime?

Today suppose to me our early valentine's celebration. However, we had this unhappy conversation. He kept persuading me to answer him if i wanna to go for the dinner he has booked.

"Please answer me if you want to go for the dinner tonight. Otherwise i will go to work"

From the sound of it, he is not even sincere to go to dinner with me. I don't think much efforts and heart was put in for the dinner.

I just kept silent. I don't know what to answer him. If i were to tell him that I'm not in the mood to go for the dinner with my swollen eyes, he would blame me in future that I'm the one who cancel the dinner. If i were to go for the dinner, his heart is not even on the dinner, what's the point.

I didn't request much from him. I just hope he could at least call or sms to concern and care for me. Nothing at all...not even a sms to ask me "how are you doing?". Promise to come at 9.30pm but called at 11.30pm to said he cant come. Tell me, how can I trust this person to take care of me a lifetime.

He thought he would need to put all his time and effort at work just for another week and he can spend time with me. But i just wanted to ask....is this called love? When you are free, you spend time with her and requested her to care for you. When you are busy or want to do your stuff, you don't even bother to care if she still exist.

He just told me " i need to go back to work. They called me. They need help"

Your colleagues need you? How about me?

I know myself well. I'm not a person who don't understand what is important and what is not. I'm not a person who is not understanding. I am very very sure about this. It is because you don't give me enough security and care that makes me think otherwise and choose not to understand.

The problem doesn't lies on the work. Is him. I'm just not his priority. I'm just not the person he loves more than himself. I'm not so important to him.

One week... To him, one more week to complete his job. But he doesn't realize this one week is also the week that he may lose me.

I choose to keep silent. I will not answer his call or responds to his SMS if there is one. Even if i do, it will only be a simple respond. I need a BREAK ...I want to SLOW our relationship and i will seriously CONSIDER our relationship. I have a CHOICE to walk MY WAY too..