Almost every weekends, we will hit into arguments or disagreement, when can we end this? I am getting tired and if this continues, i am not sure how long more can i last.

Maybe all this while he is a free bird - no one control and no commitment. He do what he likes and walk the life the way he wants to. Sometimes i do wonder if he is ready to settle down at ground. He always ask me to give him time. Not that i didnt but it has been more than a year but everything seem unchanged. I will be glad if he make the first move or initiative to change but not as expected.

My instinct may be wrong but it is so strong that is undeniable. Many incidents have proved me right. But i dont know how to deliver the message to him. He will never agree or admit. His 1st priority is always HIMSELF!

For instance, he wanted to meet up with his ex colleague for a farewell celebration this weekend- Sat ( yesterday). I wanted to follow him back to Malacca but not joining his colleague because no one know about us. last week he promised that he will include me in his weekend plans and will inform me once he decided. I waited until last thurs, nothing is mentioned to me. Fine ! So i asked on Fri morning. He then told me that his boss just sms him this morning that there is a prayer event on fri evening so he may not going to join his ex-colleague. Most probably will join them in Malacca on Sat morning. In the evening, he said he is still busy at work. Aft work, when i asked, he then told me that he will be joining the ex-colleague immediately because they keep calling. I was frustrated! really frustrated. How many times, he changes his plans and each time the plan was changed , i was not informed! Why I only get to know about it after asking him in depth? If i am his priority, he will cares about me, my feelings and my worries. If i am his priority, he will inform me before he decide or immediately aft he decide. BUt that was not the case. When i got frustrated then he gave so many reasons that he cant inform me etc etc. I am not in favor to listen to it anymore.

Then the next day, he sms-ed me that he has to go Klang to finish his un-done work. Fine....but no sms or call aft that single sms. Whole day i am waiting...and waiting and waiting. Looking at my hp every minute. At last i gave in and sms him. He then told me that he is busy and the boss is beside me. When i am working in previous company - i was so occupied with work and always work till late nite. He is angry and we hitted into big arguments. When i newly joined this company, i rarely sms him, he is angry and again we had a huge arguments. I changed to at least sms or call him when i am at work. If he doesnt like to be treated in this way, why does he treats me so???

I gave in again...before i went for dinner, i sms him in case he wanted to join. But when he called

Him: What happen?
Me: What what happen?
Him: Why u din pick up my calls?
Me: I am driving just nw ( i dont hv handsfree which he promise to buy for me 6 months ago)
Him: U know i cant go dinner with u right? U know i need to go back to malacca right?
Me: ?????? How do i know? I wasnt even informed about anything?
Him: I left my stuff in malacca, i definately need to go back wat
Me: How can u assume that i know everything when i was not even informed? How do i know that u still go home aft overnite wit your ex-colleague for the celebration? How do i know u left your stuff at home and u need to go home? U called and assume that i know everything? What kind of attitude u have when u call me?
Him: I am very tired with my work and i dont want to talk about all this
Me: Then we dont talk. bye

I am really really angry and sad. This is HIM. Whn he is at wrong, the first thing he do is to point at u as if u are wrong. I feel so innocent and be blame for all causes.

When he is free, he wants to cares and want to know everything about u . But when he is busy or occupy with his stuff, he dont care and wont ask about u .

We have gone into silent moment again today. I dont know what will happen next. I guess is again his sweet words and promise not to repeat and i will give in eventually. I am so tired and bored to listen to all his promises but nothing has put into action. I am not 16 years old girl in puppy love. Today listen to sweet words or promises and tomorrow we can forget what we have said. At this age of mine, i look forward to stability and security.

With him, i am never in peace. My heart is either rush to the top of happiness OR being push down to ground from the top. I am tired and I am no longer looking for such kind of love. With my ex-bf, i always have a piece of mind. He gives me the security and assurance. I hv never worry or ask much about his activities because i know that i am his 1 st priority and he will keep me informed in everything he wanna do or has done. He will discuss with me most of the thing before he make a decision although he knows he is still the decision maker.

But with my current bf, i am worry high and low. I always guess and guess what he is thinking or going to do. I always hope that he will change as what he has promised. I have even come to a stage where i beg him to fullfil what he had said and put his focus on the reality. Stop flying on sky and it's time to land on the ground. It's time that he gives ppl an assurance of his life, work and love. I would say, he is the luckiest guy in my life...the guy that i gave in most whenever we have an argument, the guy that i will still call him when we hit into argument, the guy that i cried and filled with pain most but still give in at last. I am always the luckiest women when i am with my ex, i really hope one day i will become the luckiest women again. I am just an ordinary lady that requires a partner to pamper, love and care all time.

Ppl said - dont expect to change a guy. Is that true?
Or...I am still not the person he loves and care most. If i am the person he loves and cares most,he will definately do anything for her.
His mine is filled with memories of his life in Taiwan and US but very little bout us. Very little about things he has to do for me. Very little about things he has promised me. That's why he doesnt put in his heart whatever he has said to me or promise to do for me.

Of course he is not that bad. For the specialties of traveling, i do feel great to have him. He brings me to experience and travel to many places but...if we want to own a family of our own, there are more then this that i am looking for. I am looking for a steady, stabil and secure partner! I really hope he is working towards this direction...