It has been awhile since i last written or visited my blog...

Sigh...this is always happening to me.
When everyone is free...i would be busy like hell..
when i am free ...i couldn't find anyone to listen to me...

I have been positive and very patient to work for things to change...
is it due to economic crisis or it's just me?
if it's due to economic condition, when is this going to change?
i hv stretched to my limit financially....

8 months in this job...is no longer new to me...
but i hv not learn much too...not because there isnt much info available, it's just that i hv no opportunity to learn..

Sales is different from office work...
i need to get out, meet people and get into action to learn!
I know what everyone is going to tell me "Dont wait for opportunity to come , go for it!"
But hey...i hv made cold calls, meet up with people but it still goes no where...
then my dear colleague or boss would tell me " you need to be patient in this field, build your base etc"

I know all these facts...but do they know that my feelings now...

My future seem uncertain...
What is certain is that my saving is drying...
I have stayed away from shopping malls...a place i would usually go during weekends for leisure, happiness or a place that i go to let go my frustration, sadness or loneliness
Now the best place is only home and gym...
I hv not been enjoying good or luxury food like i used to be...
I hv not been happily spending my $$
Everything involved $$ , i got to think twice...
Even now, going out for lunch with colleague is also my concern...
It is really depressing all these happening to me

I was lucky that people beside me is helping me out - finance me on my daily usage, meals and travelling...
I appreciate their help but i do feel bad spending their savings ...

All these should drive me to work hardly...
I did, I am doing...
somehow i just feel that motivation and drive is coming down..
motivation is propotional to savings ..believe it or not..

Gosh ...what is the best i should do now?
friends and family asked me a couple of times to consider other options.
But....i hv not put in my best effort! I just dont feel like giving up so easily...
How long more should i be patient? When should i put a stop?

I need a guideline....who can help me?